A few thoughts..

So I can't help but wonder and worry throughout the days as I wait 6 more months to meet baby Watkins... I wonder..what will my baby look like? I wonder..what will my baby be..boy? Girl? I wonder..will it have curly hair like Derek and I? I wonder..will it have big eyes like Derek and I? I wonder..will it be a happy baby or a fussy baby? I wonder..how I will manage with 4 kids in the house! I wonder..how will my stepsons react to the baby once is here? I wonder..if the boys will feel left out? :(. Never want them to feel this way! I wonder..how my outlook on life will change? ....I could go on forever.. One thing that bothers me and I can't seem to kick is...what the two angels I lost be and look like? I know they are safe with God and all our loving family in heaven..but I still wonder. I know a lot of the answers to the questions I wonder...yet some will have to wait I know.. my family and friends will help us and support us through everything I know.. the boys will absolutely love being big brothers!! I know.. that our lives will be forever changed for the better I know..the baby will be beautiful These are the most important things to know! I worry about a lot..I have always been a big worrier.. I worry..about having another miscarriage I worry..about stopping the progesterone I worry..about the babies health and well being I worry..about putting the addition on the house in time I worry..about being able to afford everything the baby and the boys need I worry..about being able to care for a baby I worry..about having the nursery done in time I worry..about the boys loving their baby brother/sister I worry..about how the dogs will react to the baby I worry..worry..worry.. I know that everything will work out and everything is going to be ok...but I still wonder and worry about a lot. I guess this is only the beginning as I know that I will have a lot more worries once the baby has arrived! I a so excited to meet this little peanut and watch him/her grow and learn. Heck...I can't wait to be able to feel the baby moving in my belly..but for now..I wait..